Quotes

Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.
Cecil Beaton

I love this quote. It always challenges me... to be bigger than I really believe I am. I love quotes in general. As a kid I would sit and read through quote books. It's just amazing how a sentence - usually one line long, can inspire and change the way you think. Some people can't accomplish that with a whole article or novel.


Here are some other great quotes:
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds."
Albert Einstiein

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
albert einstein

"Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."
Erma Bombeck



Don't be afraid to be yourself... and if you are... do it anyway... and you just might find that people like you... that you can succeed and that God is on your side. He doesn't hesitate to send little miracles your way everyday...

Only those who attempt the absurd will achieve the impossible. I think it's in my basement... let me go upstairs and check.
M. C. Escher

FUZZY BUNNIES!

Okay the last few posts have been serious so I felt the need to have a happy post.

This reminds me of what I do when we are having a horribly stressful day and we are both about to explode most likely at each other. (yesterday was one of those days). When Chad is freaking out and discussing something extremely stressful with me I have to stop him and say "look I can't really take all this. This conversation is way too stressful right now. I just want to talk about FUZZY BUNNIES! Cute little fuzzy bunnies. I like fuzzy bunnies how about you?" He usually just stops, looks at me like I'm the silliest woman alive and then I ask him again... Do you like fuzzy bunnies? He smiles and usually says - you're a fuzzy bunny. I guess it's my way of diffusing the situation before I explode from stress. Who couldn't smile when you are talking about fuzzy bunnies?

I know... I'm a little odd but it works and if you can't be completely silly with your husband then who can you be completely silly with?

WATER!

Our apartment is flooded. Water started coming at about 12:30 AM last night so we had to call maintenance and get them to come out and turn it off. But apparently it kept going while we were sleeping. So we had to call again about 6 AM. The carpet is soaked and the bathroom has about an inch of water in it.

About 25 apartments flooded yesterday and we thought we were lucky that it didn't happen to us. Well apparently it was just delayed. The city water people did something to the pipes that caused them to build up pressure and overflow. So, long story short, our apartment is a mess :(

We are just waiting on the carpet cleaning people now. And hoping to take a nap later today.

9 Months, Vaccines, and Democracy

It's been a full day already. Corben had his 9 month appointment today. I was really nervous about this appointment because he is getting his first DTap vaccine. Let me go over the possible side effects so you understand why -

Number one, it is five vaccines in one - FIVE! And they want you to start this at 2 months! The combo DTap shot contains Polio, Hepatitus B, Diphtheria, Tetanus and Pertussis. Because there is sooo much in it I wanted to separate it from the other vaccines he was given. I just thought it was a little too much for a two month old... well really any of it was too much for a two month old so we started vaccines at 4 months. Even now I wonder if six months might have been better. I think we will probably change the schedule a little with the next child. All you can do is what you think is best. That is all anyone can do, even the doctors. They don't know if your child is going to have a bad reaction, because every child is different. So all they can do is go by what the Pediatrics association recommends and we all just hope for the best. Sounds crazy doesn't it? This whole thing is so nerve racking... anyway back to the possible side effects: Seizures, non-stop crying for 3 hours or more, high fever,coma or lowered consciousness, permanent brain damage... etc. Some of these are very rare but this one has had the most serious "possible" side effects so far. Oh and another great thing, they can have some serious reactions up to a week after the shot.

My question is... are we so democratic that what is good for the masses outweighs what is life threatening for the few? It seems as though mob rule is accepted in this country. Why should we care about the individual when the masses are for it? Who cares that there have been deaths associated with vaccines, who cares that there have been cases of brain damage? That all just annoys me!

Don't get me wrong. Right now I think vaccines have their place... I just have sense enough to know that they are looking out for the masses and not specifically my son. So it's my job to be a proactive mom. Isn't that sad that that has to be a term? Shouldn't mom just imply proactive (I'm genuinely interested in my child's life and wellbeing). Sadly nowadays it is not.

Anyway, I didn't mean to get on my soapbox about all this it just kinda happened. This topic is a parents personal decision to loose sleep over and no one elses. Life would be easier if we just laid down and did what we were told, oh well.

So back to the doctor's visit. Corben is in the 50th percentile for height and weight, his hemoglobin was very high, and had no traces of lead in his bloodstream. He didn't even cry when they pricked his finger and collected blood. He was such a trooper! Everything checked out perfect and so far - no reaction to the vaccine. So I feel a little better. He's getting so big. Sad.

Sweet baby girl

There she is, only a few minutes old! Isn't she just beautiful!

Mom and baby are still doing great.

I need to keep my distance or I'm going to get baby fever!

She's Here!

It's been such a whirlwind I haven't gotten the chance to tell everyone that Lanie and Garren's little girl is here!

On Wednesday afternoon sweet Jetta Grace DiPasquale was born. 7 pounds 14 ounces and a full head of jet black hair :) I was supposed to be in the room but sadly by the time I got to the hospital Lanie was already pushing. so they made me wait. I was very disappointed but Lanie was only in hard labor for two hours and only at the hospital for thirty minutes before Jetta was born! She's got it down to an art. She was discharged the next day and is up chasing the boys with Jetta in her mommy sling. She does such a great job. Ever since I've known her I've wanted to be as graceful as she is. She makes it look so effortless. She does have her bad days but she just handles everything so well. She's a great mom.

She was talking about another mom's boys tonight and she described them as

rambunctious yet well behaved. That's the kind of mix I like.

So true... kids need to be kids... with manners and obedience sprinkled in. I hope I can give that gift to my kids. I want them to have a wonderful fun childhood while learning discipline along the way. I hope I can accomplish this delicate mix. I'll need lots of grace and wisdom but I know exactly where I can get that. Lord help me be the mom I want to be and the mom God needs me to be specifically for Corben.

Four Things About Me

Just a little fun waste of time. Thought my readers may want to know a little bit more about me. Here goes:


A) Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. SAHM
2. Graphic Designer - Iwanta Classifieds
3. Server - Ruby Tuesdays, Applebees
4. Cashier at Party Store

B) Four movies I would watch over and over:

1. The Holiday
2. Pride & Prejudice (new)
3. Hitch
4. Lord of the Rings (trilogy)

C) Four places I have lived:

1. Apollo, PA
2. Tulsa, OK
3. Beech Island, SC
4. Newberry, SC

D) Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Heroes
2. Ugly Betty
3. the office
4. House

E) Four places I have been on vacation

1. Hilton Head, SC
2. Daytona Beach, FL
3. Pigeon Forge, TN
4. Atlanta, GA


F) Four of my favorite foods:

1. Mom's Chicken Pot Pie
2. Lime Butter Tilapia
3. Japanese
4. Anything Italian

H) Four things I love about being a mom:

1. Corben's smile
2. Making Corben laugh
3. Watching his new discoveries
4. All the hugs and kisses

The first tooth is here!

It's finally here! What Chad and I have been waiting for since Corben was about 4 months old! A tooth! He had been acting very needy and fussy the past few days and I couldn't quite figure out why. He wasn't drooling a lot or anything... just fussy and needy. Then this morning he starting biting my finger as I was standing him up and there it was, the sharp edges of his first tooth! Thank goodness! We were so ready for this thing to come through. Now we are hoping that the next ones won't be as difficult or painful.

FYI if any of you are thinking about trying the amber teething necklaces. It did not work for us. But I got it big enough so I can at least wear it as a choker. oh well it was worth a try. The homeopathic teething tablets were the Godsend. We didn't have to use Tylenol nearly as much. They work great and are completely natural.

just my two cents worth.

What a cute little girl!

Yes. More often than not. People think Corben is a girl. Even when he is head to toe in blue! What more do I have to do?

I just blow it off and just assume he is just a pretty baby. It is getting kinda old though. Poor thing.

In the trenches

I don't really know where to start with this post. So much has happened in the last week and we have had to make some life changing decisions. You got to experience a little of my "freak out mode" but I'm feeling better and God is giving me peace.

Throughout all of our trials God has always been there. He is faithful. Sometimes we don't see him or see how he could be working in a situation but he is. We just have to keep having faith and believe that God still sees us and above all know who our enemy is. I'm feeling less alone and know that there are people out there that care about us. We are so grateful for that. We need others to hold us up sometimes. Even though we think we can always do everything on our own and we don't need to burden people with our problems. It's a learning process and hopefully someday it won't take so much to get us to let people help us. I don't think God wants us to be that way. He gave us relationship and fellowship for a reason.

Our lives are going to be changing drastically within the next six months but that's okay, I think we are ready. Ready for a change.

For those out there praying for us. Thank you, you don't know how much that means to us. We are so grateful for those willing to get down in the trenches and fight with us. We are so very blessed. Glory to God for all he has done and all he will do.

BLAH!

Do you ever feel like no one understands what you are going through? No one... no one... no one. You are completely alone... and if someone did know... they would just judge you or wonder why you aren't trying harder. I just want to feel understood... I just want to be in a good place... where is that? Where? Tell me and I'll go.

I'm tired of life... I think I'm going to just clock out. I'm done.

Wouldn't that be nice to just "clock out" and you are taken to this completely white, silent place with a little white couch. Where you can sit in a therapy session with Jesus. God I need one of those... one, ha!

I think if things don't change for us... I'll need a lot more than one.

There is my transparency for the year. Transparency is not my strong point... I'm a very shy person at first and it takes me a while to really open up to people... unless I am in a leadership position and then I can force myself to be more outgoing... but naturally I have always been shy. It seems the older I get the longer it takes me to really open up to people. I don't know why that is ... but it bugs me... Most of the time I feel like such a boring person. I would yawn if I spent time with me. Why can't I just be silly, witty and fun like I am with my long-time friends? Why is it so hard to just be myself? Why can't I just talk about what's going on in my life, how I am doing and what I am struggling with?
If I just keep it to myself then it's not really happening, right? That's always a good logic... same ones my friends used in high school when they wrote notes in class while everyone else was watching a video on how bad smoking is for you. If I don't watch it then maybe I'm not killing myself. Doesn't really work huh?

I'd rather...

Saw this on Etsy and couldn't resist putting it as a favorite.

Too perfect.

What were they thinking?

So we were heading towards our homegroup get together on Sunday and we pass a church sign with these words:

Don't make me come down there.
-God

Now that's how I want to see God. As a non-christian or believer I don't think either one would want to get closer to a God that is just waiting for us to screw up so he can come down here and smite us.

Lame.

LABOR DAY (a birth story)

Well, I know I have promised the story of my first few months as a mom but decided I wanted to log my birth story first and what better day to do it? I have already forgotten some of the details so I want to have it written down (or typed in this case) before I forget everything! I'll try to not be too graphic but hey it's labor... it's going to be a little graphic.

So here goes... It was a dark and stormy night.

Just kidding. I've always wanted to say that... anyway. That day we were finishing up everything for the baby. Room set up, clothes organized, hospital bag ready etc. Since it was near Christmas we also finished up our shopping at the mall, which worked out great because I wanted this baby to come. So walking was very helpful. The day before (a friday) I had my now weekly visit with my doctor and I was 3 centimeters and still had not really thought I was having any contractions. The week before I was at two centimeters. I was only a week away from my due date so I was ready for the baby to come and hoped that he would come that very weekend. My doctor was also considering admitting me on Monday because I was already progressing. I didn't really want to do that because I knew I would be on a clock and they would expect the baby to come on their schedule. So if i could get things moving myself, that is what I wanted to do. I had to stop and rest a few times at the mall because I was having pains. I assumed they were contractions... but didn't really know :). Now I am sure they were. So everything is finally finished that night and my hubby and I sit down to watch Deja Vu an interesting flick with Denzel Washington. I was so exhausted I had to go to bed and let him finish the movie himself. It was after 1 AM and I was used to going to bed a lot earlier since I was pregnant. I guess I just wanted one last stay up late hurrah or something. So I go to the bathroom and when I stand up I feel a small gush. (Is that what I think it is?) I checked the undies and there was definitely a clear liquid. (Okay, Okay.... don't freak out, okay.... don't freak out the husband, we just need to be calm). Hey Honey? Ummm...can you come here?

Yeah what's wrong? I think my water just broke...

Okay, are you alright? Yes, are you alright? Yeah.

So we started timing contractions. We didn't want to rush right to the hospital because sometimes it takes your body a while to get in a rhythm and we wanted to keep ourselves from being on a time schedule as much as possible. They started off about 11 minutes apart then seven then back to ten. My water broke around 1:40 AM and at about 3 we called my mom and my two friends who wanted to be in the room. We wanted to wait as long as we could because it was in the middle of the night. If we could let everyone get a little more sleep, that's what we wanted. So we called and they were freaking out... your water broke at 1:40??? Why are you just calling? Why aren't you at the hospital?? So Chad had to calm them all down.

During the time that we were waiting to call. I sat on my birthing ball and timed contractions while Chad took a quick shower during which I was ordered to come and get him if things started progressing rapidly. The beginning contractions weren't bad just like painful cramps. I breathed through them which helped a lot. I just tried to focus on my breathing and zone out as much as possible.

Everything was ready to go and Chad put the last few dirty dishes in the dishwasher so we wouldn't have any dirty dishes laying around for days. My contractions were now 5 minutes apart so we headed out the door. On the way to the hospital they were coming more like 3 minutes apart so Chad decided to hurry up a little.

We got to the hospital about 3:45 AM and had to go through the emergency room entrance. We let them know I was in labor and then waited for someone to walk us up to the labor and delivery floor. The nurse asked if I wanted a wheelchair but the last thing I wanted to do was sit with all the pressure I was experiencing... NO THANK YOU! So I waddled along. We got to the room and a nurse was already there. She got Chad to go down and check us in and then she asked me to change into this wonderfully fashionable hospital gown :) and let her check the pad that I put on after my water broke because I just kept leaking. You could tell that the nurse didn't fully believe I was in labor because I was walking around and still smiling :). She came back and said that it was amniotic fluid so they will fully get us checked in.

I came back out into the room from the bathroom and she told me to go ahead and get comfortable on the bed because the doctors usually like you to stay in the bed and try to relax. I quickly pulled out my hospital copy of my birth plan and let her know that I had already discussed with my doctor about being able to move freely. OH, Okay, she said with a smile. I was such a dork. I had a birth plan for every person on my "birth team" :). She went over my birth plan with me and was so sweet. She explained everything she was doing because that's one of the things I wanted from my birth plan. I didn't want people just doing things to me without explaining what they are doing or asking first so I asked to be fully informed of everything they were doing. She did just that... she was just wonderful. Nurses make all the difference especially because the doctor is only there for a few minutes to catch the baby :). She was probably about 50 or so, so I'm sure she had seen it all! And had probably seen more natural childbirths that other nurses have in recent years. So I sat on the bed so she could check the babies heartbeat and check my cervix. The checking of the cervix during childbirth was far more uncomfortable that when they check it at the checkups. So she checked me and had a very surprised look on her face. Your 8 cm. Really? She was amazed that I was up walking around. She told all the nurses about me and they were all in amazement. Up to 8 cm wasn't so bad it just felt like hard cramps and breathing through them was very helpful. After 8 cm it gets a lot harder. TRANSITION - oh you think you are dying. But the beautiful thing about transition is... you are almost there!!!! Yay! I get so mad when I watch a baby story and the women get an epidural at like 8 or 9 cm... and I'm like WHAT?!!! You are almost finished... WHY??!! WHY would you do that? So frustrating!! I just assume it is lack of education and try to calm down :). So back to the birth story.

Chad came back from checking us in and getting the birthing ball and by that time the whole gang showed up. My mom, dad and my two best friends from high school - Jamie and Melissa. Jamie was super excited because she is a nursing student and she was just eating the whole process up. She gets so enthusiastic about medical stuff. Melissa was there for moral support but didn't want to be in the room when it got bad because she had a bad experience with another friend and didn't want to see someone go through that amount of pain again. Which I was totally fine with. I wanted her to be as involved as she was comfortable with. So we all just talked in between some contractions and then they started to get closer and closer together and STRONG. I didn't scream or freak out during the whole process... my one snippy comment was during a contraction once they were getting stronger and I said - Okay can we just not talk now. I had a hard time focusing on my breathing while people were talking in the room. I used the birthing ball and leaned over it on the bed while Chad put counter pressure on my back and that felt good for a little while. Then I sat some more and had some ice chips in between. I wanted water so bad. Ice chips suck!! Your breathing constantly so your mouth is soooo dry and ice chips don't do a great job of hydrating. I remember at one point I was beginning to lose control of my breathing because the pain was unbearable... but there was my mom... breathing controlled breaths in my ear so I could regain focus. I was so blessed to have everyone that I had there. They all contributed to the process and were so encouraging. Don't get me wrong my friends Jamie and Melissa thought I was absolutely crazy for wanting to go natural and they tried to talk me out of it... but I finally had to say, look this is what I really want, I've done my research and I just need you to support me no matter how crazy it seems to you. And they did just that. I know they just loved me and wanted me to not be in pain but when they saw how serious I was they let go and trusted me. So they showed up that night with positivity and excitement. Melissa even decided to stay in the room because of how well I was handling it.

So there I was fully dilated and the contractions had calmed down... so I was sleeping in between them because I was so exhausted from laboring through the night. Little "c" was almost here. I had Chad beside me on my left coaching away, my mom floating around taking pictures and by my right side in between; then Jamie and Melissa holding each leg. Every time I was ready to push they would push up my legs giving me a force to push against. The pushing actually felt good. It made the pain of the contraction go away, so I was all about pushing when the contractions came on. The baby's head was finally through, so all I had was the shoulders so they asked me to push one more time and I told them plainly I CANT! And everyone in the room came back with yes you can! you can do it! So I did. Then there he was... the most beautiful miracle - our beautiful, healthy baby boy on my stomach. Then my life changed forever. I have never felt such a flood of emotions. I had to remind myself that he was mine as the hours went by. I just couldn't believe he was in my arms. He had been in my tummy for so long. Would I be able to take care of him? Would the motherly instincts just kick in? Would I be a good parent? The labor and birth was such a blessing. We had a natural childbirth, it was only a little less than eight hours, we had a positive experience with the hospital, and we got a beautiful healthy baby boy. It was an amazing experience. It was still labor... but it was labor and pain for a purpose... a wonderful, wonderful purpose.