Saturday, December 19, 2009
Merry, Merry Christmas
Ahhh... Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby are singing my favorite Christmas carols, the tree is glowing, and there is snow on the ground... (ahem, not here... but up north). It's Christmas! I love Christmas. Everything about it just puts you in a good mood. Christmas has been different for me this year. Good different.
I want to preface this post a little... I debated on writing my thoughts and feelings down because it might seem like I'm "trying" to be a good Christian by saying some of these things. I know a lot of this stuff is said all the time with no real conviction behind it but I started this blog to be honest with myself and transparent to my friends so with that said... I'll continue.
For the past month Chad has been asking about my Christmas list. What do I want for Christmas? It has to be something fun and not a practical thing. Okay... I can do this. So I tried to come up with something. I kept trying and kept trying. Maybe I haven't been window shopping enough lately?? I didn't have the slightest clue as to what I wanted for Christmas. I kept racking my brain for weeks. I came up with a pathetic little list. Nothing special... just stuff. I found myself thinking about it again this past Thursday. What do I want? What do I want? I was listening to a local Christian radio while running some errands and they started talking about a baby in the hospital that needs a heart.
As they talked about needing a miracle, I started to think about my boys. Both beautiful, healthy, happy kids. Uneventful pregnancies, wonderful births, and no issues. These overwhelming feelings of thankfulness came over me. My mind ran through all of the memories in the past few years and how lucky we are to have the things that we have. God gave me a present that day. My heart and head wrapped around the fact that we are so blessed.
I realized that I was content and I was treating that as a bad thing. I was trying to force myself to want something. I really didn't want anything. I was content. I think in today's society, that is a miracle in itself!!!!
So this Christmas I want to give. That's what I want.