Good God, Good Doctor, Good All Around.

I had my first interview with a pediatrician. I never got around to doing interviews before Corben because ... let's see.. I was working full time, OBGYN visits, lamaze classes etc. So it just didn't happen. I'm kind of glad I did it now after I've been a mom for a year, I feel like I know more of what to ask, what my practical concerns are...

Of course the doctor started off with the normal spiel about how the office is run. What appointments will be like, how long, and that I can call him anytime etc. Then asked if I had any questions. I was very upfront about my main concern which was in general his medical philosophy on the big issues like breastfeeding, vaccines, when to start solid foods, and am I going to be asked to come in every time I have a question about something or does he promote trying to take care of issues at home.

I was very impressed with his answers and he seemed very down to earth and sensible. That's all I wanted! He admitted that vaccine concerns are valid and any type of intervention has possible side effects. He had a child die from Amoxicillin. It's very rare but it happens. Thank you! Finally someone that admits that there should be caution with anything we give our children. I'm not crazy! Okay maybe a little :) He said that usually the way he handles it when parents don't want any, is that he suggests some that he thinks are very necessary and then there are some that aren't as necessary. In hopes that they would at least try the more pressing ones. He said he's perfectly fine with a modified schedule and for the past seven years he decided to not give the MMR until after two because of all the concerns from parents about autism. He doesn't personally believe that there is a correlation but that's what he decided to do in his practice. He actually cares about what the parents are concerned about? Enough to change how he gives vaccines... against the suggested schedule??? I totally expected to be disappointed to tell you the truth. I searched for pediatricians in the area and many of them had strong opinions about it on their websites. So I knew I should not even try with those practices.

We discussed his experience and training with breastfeeding moms and babies and when to start solids etc. And I was upfront with my view on going to see doctors - of course I want your opinion but there are going to be those times when I feel like I should go with my motherly instincts. He said "a lot of mom's come in with lots of questions and I'll go through each one with them and make suggestions and give my medical opinion and if you want to try another way then I just note that on the chart and it's no big deal."

The biggest issue was for me to feel like I can have an open conversation with my son's doctor. If I can't then I know my son isn't going to get the best medical care. And I do feel like I can talk to this doctor. He was reasonable and approachable.

That's all I wanted and I got it with the first doctor I interviewed. God is so good. Now I don't have to worry about where Corben will get medical care and if I will have to fight my doctor every visit or feel like a crazy person just because I want to do something different.

Peace. God takes care of us every step of the way.

So we'll probably have our 18 month check up with the new doctor and then shortly after we'll have well baby checkups with the new addition.

I could not be happier and the best part is he is right around the corner. I could walk to the practice if I wanted to. How nice is that? If there is ever a major concern and I need to bring Corben in I won't have to go far.

.. Did I mention that God is good?

A reply from the doctor post

I started to reply to the comments and decided it was getting too long so I might as well make it a post.

I do understand the pressure the doctors are under. Unfortunately, I think it leads to bad medical practice. Individual attention is sacrificed because of the assembly line system of care. Same thing happens with labor/birth. Your crazy if you want to do it another way. I think what Kelli is trying to say (correct me if I'm wrong) is that we wish the doctors would appreciate that we want to take an active roll in our children's medical care. They see it as an inconvenience and they are doing us a favor if they treat our child in the way we ask them to. Vaccination is something for each parent to take seriously and its totally between them and God. As long as you are educated about your decision and you think you are doing the best thing for your specific child then that is what you should do. Same thing with labor and delivery.

Your the parent, it should be your decision and that decision should be respected.

I'm not mad at the doctors, I'm mad at the system. Our system of medical care is broken. It's no wonder many mothers I've talked to have stopped doing well visits. The doctors don't want to listen to them or try to understand. Too many doctors have a God complex. And their are too many crazy people out there that don't respect doctors and just want to mow them over with their opinions. If you don't want to listen to your doctors opinion and get medical counsel. Then don't go to the doctor. Obviously you can take care of everything yourself (sarcasm). I know I need second opinions and I have questions... that's why I go. Does that mean I will do everything the doctor says... no. My doctor told me my milk hit a plateau at about 5 months and that I should start feeding him full servings of real food. I called a lactation consultant and she told me something completely different. Your milk doesn't hit a plateau. He's just going through a growth spurt and needs to eat more to get your milk supply up. I started letting him nurse more often and everything was fine. If I would have given him large servings of real food my milk supply would have went down which is the opposite of what Corben was trying to do.

Are doctors wrong sometimes? Yes. Do most of them want to admit it? No.

If you had 10 doctors in a room you would probably get 10 or maybe 8 different opinions.

I know they are doing the best they can with what they know, their experiences etc. But they need to at least entertain the idea that someone may want to do something different than what they suggest.

Medicine and science is ever-changing. One day coffee is bad for you the next day it isn't same thing with chocolate. One day Pluto is a planet and then the next day it's not.

I hope that one day they can without a doubt say that vaccines are safe for all children and that I can vaccinate without any concern. That would be wonderful. But right now.. I can't do that. Corben has already had a reaction to the dtap that he had for the first time at his last visit. You know the beautiful thing about that? If I would have followed the traditional schedule, I would have no idea which vaccine gave him the reaction. But because I separated it out I know exactly which one it was. I have reasons behind what I am doing. I'm not just doing it because its the "thing" to do. I wouldn't go through this much headache just because it's the "thing" to either be totally for vaccines or totally against them.

I want to feel like I can have open conversations with my doctor. I want to know what's going in Corben's body and how it affects my child. I want to give Corben as much time as possible to recover from each vaccine. I want to be able to know that I did everything I thought was right, if something does happen. Even with a modified schedule it doesn't ensure that my child won't be the 1 in 1000 or whatever the statistics are for each vaccine to get a serious reaction like seizures or brain damage. But this is what I have a peace about. I will have done what I thought was best and that is all I can do. That is all any parent can do.

Another Doctor's Visit... yay

Okay, if you don't want to listen to a rant then stop reading. You know... I want to go to a doctors visit without being nervous. Why am I always the one choosing the most difficult way to do something. I think it would just be easy to either do vaccines or don't do them at all. Trying to do your own schedule is a pain!

This all stems from Corben's one year doctor's appointment today. My doctor informs me that there is a measles outbreak that has killed 45 people. So they are recommending every child get their vaccine as soon as possible. And if I didn't get the vaccine my doctor could no longer see Corben.

My first thought... "See you later." But I calmed down internally and started asking questions and explaining. Now, my doctor has been pretty good about our choice to do a modified schedule and has been very gracious. I know he is just doing his job and looking out for the good of his patients and his insurance bill. He explained that if Corben had measles and was in the waiting room and a 9 month old caught it from Corben then he would be personally liable. Okay, I want to strangle every person that is sue happy right now. A child could catch this kind of disease anywhere... Come ON! I'm not saying this is not a cause for concern for me. Of course when I hear there is an outbreak I want to do the best thing to protect my son.

So on our personal vaccine schedule we had the MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) vaccine separated. We knew it would cost extra to do it that way but it is worth it to us. I had Mumps first on the schedule so I asked him if he would recommend to do the measles first instead. He said yes but he could still not see me unless I had all of them done. Wha? Why? I thought it was a measles outbreak? Measles... not mumps and rubella. On my schedule I have them spaced about a year apart. 15 months-mumps, 27 months rubella, 36 months measles. So that means Corben would not be seen until after 36 months if I continued with my current schedule. He offered to bring Corben in and seclude him so he could receive his shots etc. Which was nice. I know he was trying to do everything he could and save his rear-end as well. Which there is nothing wrong with that per-se. I'm just so fed up with the medical community and people that want to sue everyone with a stethoscope that doctors are afraid to pee without asking first.

We are trying to do what's best for our son and the doctor said he was just trying to do what's right for the thousands of patients he sees.

Was he implying that we weren't? Did we put our child in daycare with no vaccines and not try to breastfeed him so he would have antibodies and a strong immune system. NO, we choose to keep our child at home and breastfeed him exclusively. Because we made those decision we thought we were being responsible enough to modify the vaccine schedule the way we thought best. We were being considerate of others. We didn't put our son in a situation where he could easily contract a disease and give it to others. We took every precaution that was safe for our child and beneficial for others.

But we're the crazy ones! We're the inconvenient ones. Don't get me wrong... I'm not mad at my doctor.. a little frustrated, yes. I told him I totally understand where he is coming from... totally.. he's a medical professional. All he knows is what he has been indoctrinated with in medical school. Vaccines are better for the masses so that's what we should do. Vaccinate. No matter what. (I didn't verbalize all of that I just thought it).

I explained we would not be making these decisions about vaccines if Corben was in daycare etc. And I am just trying to do the best for my specific child. HEY THATS MY JOB IM HIS MOM!!!!

You know the first week they want to listen to your motherly instincts but eventually I guess you are supposed to hand over those to the doctor.


I'm just mad, frustrated, and my heart is broken from wondering if I'm going to have to make a medical decision about my child that I am forced into.

I'm looking into getting the measles vaccine separate asap. And I am going to continue to think and pray on the rest. Maybe this is my cue to find another doctor that will actually understand where I am coming from. Or maybe I should just stick it out and do my schedule the way I've already set out. We are both making our choices, him to not see us anymore and me to continue with what I think it right for my son and what I have a peace about.

He's my son, my responsibility, God entrusted him to my husband and I and we don't take that lightly.

Please know that I am venting and I'm sure I'll have this figured out soon. Just feels good to get all these thoughts out.

9 Months, Vaccines, and Democracy

It's been a full day already. Corben had his 9 month appointment today. I was really nervous about this appointment because he is getting his first DTap vaccine. Let me go over the possible side effects so you understand why -

Number one, it is five vaccines in one - FIVE! And they want you to start this at 2 months! The combo DTap shot contains Polio, Hepatitus B, Diphtheria, Tetanus and Pertussis. Because there is sooo much in it I wanted to separate it from the other vaccines he was given. I just thought it was a little too much for a two month old... well really any of it was too much for a two month old so we started vaccines at 4 months. Even now I wonder if six months might have been better. I think we will probably change the schedule a little with the next child. All you can do is what you think is best. That is all anyone can do, even the doctors. They don't know if your child is going to have a bad reaction, because every child is different. So all they can do is go by what the Pediatrics association recommends and we all just hope for the best. Sounds crazy doesn't it? This whole thing is so nerve racking... anyway back to the possible side effects: Seizures, non-stop crying for 3 hours or more, high fever,coma or lowered consciousness, permanent brain damage... etc. Some of these are very rare but this one has had the most serious "possible" side effects so far. Oh and another great thing, they can have some serious reactions up to a week after the shot.

My question is... are we so democratic that what is good for the masses outweighs what is life threatening for the few? It seems as though mob rule is accepted in this country. Why should we care about the individual when the masses are for it? Who cares that there have been deaths associated with vaccines, who cares that there have been cases of brain damage? That all just annoys me!

Don't get me wrong. Right now I think vaccines have their place... I just have sense enough to know that they are looking out for the masses and not specifically my son. So it's my job to be a proactive mom. Isn't that sad that that has to be a term? Shouldn't mom just imply proactive (I'm genuinely interested in my child's life and wellbeing). Sadly nowadays it is not.

Anyway, I didn't mean to get on my soapbox about all this it just kinda happened. This topic is a parents personal decision to loose sleep over and no one elses. Life would be easier if we just laid down and did what we were told, oh well.

So back to the doctor's visit. Corben is in the 50th percentile for height and weight, his hemoglobin was very high, and had no traces of lead in his bloodstream. He didn't even cry when they pricked his finger and collected blood. He was such a trooper! Everything checked out perfect and so far - no reaction to the vaccine. So I feel a little better. He's getting so big. Sad.