New Look!

I thought it was time to give this old blog a little facelift and some perky new colors. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think!

I just couldn't resist this design especially because of the subtle handwritten note on the side that says "I am thankful" :)

I am. I am so thankful for so many things. Now if I can just remember that on the days that the floor is covered in cheerios and little boys are catapulting themselves off my furniture.

Happy Wednesday!

Stay tuned, the next post I'll show off my new wreath and tell you about some more projects.

Crafty Experimenting

I'm back and ready to do some craftiness. The photo above is a little sneak peek :) I've had a huge itch to craft and create lately. It's something that has laid dormant for a long time for one reason or another. Mostly because of not having enough space or a yard to take things out and paint them etc. Excuses... excuses...

But no more! Carpe Diem people!

I can't believe that I've put something on the back-burner for so long that makes me so happy! And the kids are excited about the extra Lowe's trips and the chance to help mommy make something :)

Stay tuned for some crafty goodness :)

Lost

At 16 weeks we lost our baby.

No one should ever, ever have to go through something like this. I always considered myself so fortunate to have had such uneventful pregnancies and births and I feel even more so now.

I thank God that there is no question in my mind that I will see my angel again in heaven someday. I am sad that I was not able to watch my little one grow up and experience each new stage. I am definitely holding my little ones a little tighter and giving them that extra kiss at night not wanting to leave the room. They are so precious and life is so fragile.

I thank God that I was able to go through most everything at home. The hospital and dr. visits were horrible. So much so that I would tremble in the waiting rooms... the anxiety was awful. The day my ultrasound was clear, I was so happy I would not have to come back for a long time. I was planning a home birth this time and my treatment has solidified that choice.

The one visit I had with my midwife before this happened was one of the things that got me through. I was treated like a person and she asked the important questions to make sure I was taken care of on every level: emotional, mental and physical. Having children/creating life is so much more than a medical procedure for a woman. It affects us on every level of our being. It is a physical, spiritual, mental and emotional experience and we need to have all of those areas discussed and supported. And the midwife did just that.

We want to try again when we are ready.

It will take time to heal and it hurts to see a baby and feel sadness instead of awe and that welling up of motherly love that I would usually feel. I don't want to feel that way, but I do.

Everyday is new and I feel like I have a new perspective and a new drive. God has given us so much peace and protected us when we needed it most. We will carry this little one in our hearts forever and know we will see them again one day. Praying God is giving my little one lots of hugs and kisses for me.

Completely Happy :)

What a sweet little pumpkin, right? This is not a picture of anyone I know but how can you not immediately feel a connection with this little one. I actually came across it when doing research for a design. It's just so adorable it brought tears to my eyes.

Sappy I know.... but I guess it's all the hormones. Yep... I know what your thinking.... hormones? Well when your 13 weeks pregnant with your third, the hormones will get the best of you.

Yep, we're expecting baby number three in late February! This will definitely be my last pregnancy which is sad and exciting at the same time. Pregnancy is such an amazing experience but I look forward to watching my little ones grow and what the next phase of our life will be like. I feel complete and happy... maybe even completely happy? :)

Eight years

About eight years ago, Chad and I were dating and took a day trip up to Charlotte to hang out and check out what Charlotte was like. When I was in high school and trying to map out my life and decide where I would go to college. Charlotte was where I wanted to be. I had my eyes set on Winthrop University, which is right outside of Charlotte in Rock Hill, SC. They have a wonderful and challenging arts program there.

Charlotte was perfect. Not too far away but not too close either. Just right! Charlotte has been on my brain since I was 16 years old. It's crazy to even think about. And here we are, in the city that I dreamed about and then fell in love with when Chad and I visited here that spring 8 years ago. I decided to finish my degree at USCA but this was still where I wanted to be in the future. Do you think God calls you to a city? Puts that burning desire in you and that peace to know you are home?

I think so.

Charlotte has so much to offer. It has a great arts scene, tons of activities and places to go for kids, IKEA (Oh my goodness how could we live without IKEA being 15 minutes away?) LOL, diversity, sports, Lake Norman, etc.

I love the diversity - I've met people from Romania, Brazil, Africa, Italy, etc just in the six months of living here. It's so enriching to learn about other cultures. There is a sweet family that live two doors down from us. They are from Africa and have only been in the states for about 2 years. Our youngest are actually the same age... only two weeks apart! They were ministers in Somalia and started a church there. The kids play together and we have such a good time talking about parenting and what life is like in Africa.

I know God has so much in store for us here and I can't wait to see it all come together.

It took us eight years, but it's good to be home.

Insert title here :)

I was thinking about the title of this post and I couldn't quite put my finger on the words to perfectly capture what I'm trying to say. A problem I'm all too familiar with. I can never fully explain myself, how I would like too. I guess I'm just too complex :) (my husband would be shaking his head yes right now LOL)

Through talking and sharing over the "girl's weekend," I realized there was a reoccurring theme. I have a running bucket list in my head. Through the whole weekend I ran across things that would spur me to say, "Yeah, one of my goals is ________" or "Yeah, that's something I want to do one day." I started to realize... I have a lot of those. The older I get the more I realize how much of a dreamer and visionary I am. And how a personality/spirit like that can be an amazing asset or a tragic stumbling block. It can cause you to not be content, which is something I've had to temper. In the past I've looked to the future and felt like I had to do this or that and then I would "make it" or be where I want to be.

I want to be right here, right now in this very moment. I'm content with most things in my life, but I still desire to experience and to learn. Which is the good part left over after the contentment is dealt with.

I think that is the creative nature in me. That is something I never want to temper. I get that from my dad... no, not that one... my heavenly father. God created me with a hunger to create and to experience his beauty and wonder through the world and with a little child-like curiosity sprinkled in to make it interesting :). I came across this amazing article about creativity and the Christian - it truly inspired me and reminded me that I do do my father's work. Check it out here.

I think a lot of personality traits can go either way depending on life experiences and if we choose listen to those mentors that God places in our path. If left to themselves, they can become negative but if tempered correctly it can be an amazing attribute. I'm trying to keep this in the front of my mind with the boys and encourage the beauty in their unique traits, like Corben wanting to take charge or to touch or question everything!!! Or Devlin being a go getter and wanting to see what something sounds like when you bang it on a hard surface (hence some of my favorite ceramic coasters broken!) or discovering whats in the very back of that drawer/bin/box. (insert bull in china shop here) LOL

They have some personality traits that if left to themselves could be seen as a bad thing but oh if tempered correctly watch out world for what my boys have to offer and what they dream to do and be. :) Corben's thirst to know how things work, understand people and to lead the way and Devlin's desire to explore and create new things combined with his kind heart… they will be great men someday, I just know it.

It only took us four years...

Last weekend was an adventure four years in the making. Four years ago to the exact weekend. "The girls" (My high school friends Jamie and Melissa) went on a bachelorette weekend to celebrate Melissa's upcoming nuptials. While we were out on the town, we met a group of ladies who had vacationed together every year since they graduated high school. They were all in there mid-to-late thirties. We were so impressed by that! They were from all across the US but once a year they put aside their crazy schedule and made their childhood girlfriends a priority. We wanted this for us too.

We've been through so much together and have stuck it out and loved each other in spite of some of it and through it all. Each of us is very different from the other and we like to poke fun and roll our eyes but when things get tight we come together like no other. They were there for the birth of both of my little sweet potatoes, have been there to pack or unpack for every single move, they are Aunt Jamie and Aunt "Sassa" to my boys and the list goes on.... These girls have been my sisters in life when I didn't have any. Growing up with three brothers makes you yearn for some sister-hood!

So that was our goal, every year, we would make a trip together. Well... two babies, being broke and moving around later. We finally did it! Friday morning we all set out to meet up in Charleston for a weekend of reconnecting, getting a little crazy, sharing some tears, and basking in the warm sun and new experiences. It was a blast!